Oh gosh I love this.
Latte—Internal Medicine—The latte is the backbone of any coffee shop—fail to make a good latte and you fail everywhere! IM docs are often times the center of patient care in the adult world. The perfect mix of strong medicine with just enough mellowed milk poured in, IM docs are hard-working sweethearts ready to go to bat for their patients.
Red Eye—Rads—Mostly because you’d need that much caffeine to stay awake in the dark all the time!! It’s also essential that radiologists always keep their eyes open to pick up on the tiny details on those CTs.
Chai—Family medicine—Chai is a little bit of everything! A little sweet, a little spicy, a little creamy, a little tea, a little caffeine. Family med docs seem to have a hand in every pot doing a little derm, a little OB, a little psych, and a little chronic disease management all in one day! Chai seems like the perfect drink for these guys.
Straight espresso (ideally injected right into a vein)—ER—This one seems pretty obvious to me! ER docs work crazy night shifts, and are generally the kind of adrenaline junkies that would drink their espresso just straight up.
White chocolate mocha—OB—One part hard core caffeine, one part the sweetest white chocolate you can find, the white chocolate mocha is just like the mix of really crazy procedures they do in OB with the sweet adorable baby moments.
Black coffee—Neurology—Neuro seems pretty simple on the outside but once you dive into the complexity of it you find a dozen layers underneath that “black box” of a brain. A good strong cup of black coffee is just like this—seemingly simple on the outside, but full of a dozen different flavors you might not have thought of the first time.
Caramel Frappuccino—Anesthesia—Anesthesiologists are the docs coming to “chill” you out—which is probably why they always seem so “chill”. Caramel Frappuccinos also do double duty hitting dessert and coffee fix in one go—the way anesthesiologists always seem to manage to have time to do medicine and research!
Starbucks Canned Double Shot—Pathology—Mostly because I feel like it was intended to wake the dead. Haha. But more accurately pathologists are often the “neglected” medical specialty with most people feeling like they don’t usually see live patients so they’re not the same as most doctors—BUT they’re a super important part of the team and can really save your butt when you need help fast! Someone get me a read me the biopsy! QUICK!
Cappuccinos—Surgery—A little bit finicky, the perfect cappuccino can take a lifetime to master. Surgeons, like cappuccinos demand perfection! But, they’re classic, strong, get the job done, and all with a fluffy coat of foam! Besides—pouring the perfect cappuccino with those little designs on top requires quite a precise hand!
Pumpkin Spice Latte—Psych. I mean—come on. The people who are so addicted to this coffee should see psychiatrists for some addiction counseling!
Skinny Vanilla Latte—Dermatology—While appearing “fluffy” at first glance, dermatologists do everything from cancer to procedural work. Don’t judge this drink from the outside!
Americano—Ortho—Just like the ortho docs muscling a bone back into place, an americano is just strong enough to wake you up in the morning. (Side note: The drink was named after American GIs who didn’t like the strong French espresso—I’ll let you draw your own conclusion about what that means about ortho docs??)
Hot chocolate—Pediatrics—Warm, comforting, sweet, and adored by children everywhere.
Disclaimer: this post is OBVIOUSLY a joke. I intend no disrespect to any specialty by it!! It is all intended just to make you laugh and any stereotypes represented here don’t represent my view point on the specialties.
yay! I get the only tea one!
Ahem… you forgot Urgent Care… I demand to be drink-stereotyped. :)
Urgent care is officially a Cafe Misto because it’s always forgotten—but still officially one of the best things to order at Starbucks.
Yummiest meme of the medblr sphere!
To the men out there -
STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M A PIECE OF MEAT.
Remember the only difference between me and you is that weak thing dangling between your legs.
I could kill you if I fucking wanted to.
Remember I have the same feet you have. I could kick you in the balls.
Remember I have the same hands you have. I could slap your face and gouge out your leery eyes.
Remember Lizzie Borden, who killed her parents with an axe.
Remember Elizabeth Bathory, who bathed in her victims’ blood.
Remember Aileen Wuornos, the serial killer.
Remember Domino Harvey, the bounty hunter.
Remember the Black Widow and Praying Mantis; who devour the male after sex.
Remember the Lioness, who hunts prey with its claws and teeth.
Remember the Iron Lady, Joan of Arc, Hedy Lamar.
Remember your own mother and sister. Remember ME.
If you can’t offer me politeness, kindness, and respect: do not look at me, do not talk to me. Don’t wolf-whistle, don’t cat-call. Don’t say lewd phrases from across the sidewalk.
You don’t flatter me. You disrespect me. I don’t need your attention and your creepily whispered, “Hey, beautiful” to feel good about myself. Don’t be so fucking vain.
I don’t care if you call me psychotic. It’s just a brand your gender uses on any female that has the guts to tell you, “I DON’T WANT YOU.”
I’d rather be called crazy than weak.
My name in French means Sadist. A person who enjoys inflicting pain. There’s a reason why my mother named me that.
The next time I walk past you, keep your dirty mouth shut.
Or I’ll fucking cut out your tongue.
I hope you like the taste of choking on your own blood."